Garen's Ramblings and Insanity

6:02pm: Dear Diary: My teen angst has a body count...
Not yet, thank gods. I'm just waiting with baited breath for Heathers to arrive from Netflix. I'm back on with my Christian Slater addiction, only this time it's worse: I dyed my hair back to brown (it'd been red for a while) and I gelled it. I'm rather proud of my handiwork with the gel, and plan to take pics as soon as I find the camera. (Insert groans.)

I spent the entire day doing mailorder boxes, and I'm ready to strangle the guy who ordered ten boxes to be shipped out to all his friends. We have his address on file. Maybe I should work on that body count...

11:32am: Check this out. I have been invited to be a costumed docent for an event with the Warwick Historical Society. I'm currently working on my costume: colonial knee breeches and a squares and rectangles shirt. They're letting me borrow a vest.

I am so awesome.

2:11pm: Still alive...
So yah, I'm still alive. Sort of. I graduated in absentia from high school. I'm planning to be a plumber to support my artistic endeavours.

Current obsession: Peter Pan. Ironic, eh?

11:07am: Shit on a Stick
I've probably used that subject line before, but I really don't care. I didn't mention it earlier, but I had a bit of an explosion on Friday, so now I'm out of school for a few days to get my meds adjusted. Of course, Mum decided that this would be an excellent opportunity for me to work on that seven page paper on seatbelts that I have to do for my Driver's Ed course. Forget that I'm probably not going to be doing any driving before I'm thirty, and by the time I'm thirty I'll probably be somewhere in Ireland or the UK and I'll have to relearn everything, but the head honchos for the state of New Jersey have decided that you can't graduate high school unless you take Driver's Ed. I'd be too disgusted for words if I wasn't completely beyond caring.

So, here's the rundown of what's happened since my last entry.

My birthday party went well. Ginny didn't show because her brother got lost, but we managed to have fun anyway. I reaquainted myself with some people I hadn't seen in about four years, which was nice. I got some cool stuff and we ate the cake that I made and decorated (white frosting with green swirls. Fun).

On my actual birthday, we went out for sushi. I like sushi.

About a week or so later, we went to Dinosaur Barbeque in Harlem for a joint birthday dinner with the grandparents (since my brother's birthday was the fifth of March). Mum's mum actually managed to get me something good this year-- a Chieftains CD and a Gaelic Storm CD. Sure beats the Tiffany heart bracelet she gave me for my sixteenth birthday. I never really forgave her for that, but the CDs are definitely a step in the right direction. My favourite present was from my Da's parents. See, I'm named after my da's mum's mum (don't ask), who died a few years before I was born. She was a pretty cool lady from what I've heard, and my da says that I'm a lot like her. So anyway, Gramma and Grampa gave me Grandma Pauline's chai (the Hebrew letter, not the tea) necklace. Chai is the eighteenth letter of the Hebrew alphabet, so a chai pendant is a traditional gift for someone turning eighteen. I probably won't wear it, since I'm still wearing the string necklace that Amy gave me at my party, but you never know. It's currently sitting on my desk.

Calving season is now in full swing. Thus far we've only had one troublesome birth, a stillborn. This is a very good thing.

Then Sunday happened. Mum took me, my brother, and my brother's friend (who I can't stand for a variety of reasons) to Goodwill and Hot Topic, because Mum says she's sick of seeing me in the same clothes day after day. All went fairly well, I managed to pick out a pair of jeans and a shirt at Goodwill, just to keep my mum happy before I went over and spent $2.50 on books (five of them, fifty cents each. I love Goodwill). The Hot Topic trip went well too. I picked out five shirts, my mum vetoed two, and one didn't come in my size. So I've got one with Westley and Buttercup from The Princess Bride, and another one that says "All I Know I Learned From Zelda", followed by a list. The my brother started getting pissy because he didn't find anything that he wanted, and started throwing a temper tantrum because he wanted to go buy a .hack//sign DVD, even though Mum said that we needed to get home. The yelling continued through the entire ride home, with the brat cursing off my mum for being a bad parent. His friend was still in the car, mind you. I dunno if he'll ever want to come visit again (not that I mind, but my brother might). Even after we dropped off his friend, my brother kept yelling and cursing. I was just sitting there, trying to concentrate on the music so I wouldn't go crazy, and finally Mum told my brother to get out of the car and walk home. I'm not sure if she meant it or not, but my brother got out, slammed the door, and started running. It was getting dark, so Mum drove really slowly so if he wanted to catch up, he could. Eventually he got back in, and we went home, and I disappeared into my room with a bag of those Necco heart things and played several games of Solitaire while listening to Gaelic Storm.

So there's the good and there's the bad, just like in everything. I really wish my parents would correct the school files saying that I'm a girl, though. It may have been entertaining for a few weeks, but now I'm just sick of it.

9:29am: Les Mis
I'm such a nerd. I've got a piece of wooden cheese in my right pocket, a green kazoo in my left pocket, and no money for lunch. Needless to say, the wooden cheese and the kazoo aren't the only things in my pockets. I won't bore you with the list, but suffice to say that I have a junk collection second only to my uncle's house and the occasional flea market.

I'm not sure what started it, but I seem to have become re-obsessed with Les Miserables. I've been spending most of my waking hours reading fanfiction, taking "Which Les Mis character are you?" quizzes on Quizilla, and mourning the fact that I can't find an unabridged copy of the book. Oh, and giggling madly when I get Gavroche on said quizzes. Me and Ginny have decided that I'm Gavroche reincarnated or something, cuz I'm small and hyper and a bit of a klepto.

I wrote a poem. It's handwritten, cuz we had to write a poem in class, and unfortunately the only copy is currently being graded by my creative writing teacher. I hope to get it back soon so I can share it with all you lovely people. It'll probably end up on FFN, since it's Les Mis related. (As if it'd be anything else, knowing me at the moment.)

Oh, and I decided what my accessory project is going to be for sewing class (no giggles or I throw my wooden cheese at you). I'm going to try and make Gavroche's hat.

In other news, my eighteenth birthday is in exactly one week.

2:45pm: Blah
I'm so bored. It's a snow day, and I have nothing to do. No one's available to come over. There's nothing happening here. I refuse to eat when I'm not hungry. Ginny's sick. I'm bored out of my mind. That is all.

12:54pm: Crazy
My youngest brother just had another fit. It was pretty bad. He kept biting his hand and banging his head against anything he could reach, and screaming bloody murder the whole time. That got Mum into a bad mood, so when we went up to the house and found my other brother watching TV while we'd been helping with milking, Mum just about flipped. That got my other brother into his own type of fit, yelling about how nobody understands him, and Mum got even more angry, and meanwhile I'm just standing there trying not to cry or throw up or something equally embarrassing.

I think everyone's going crazy except me. I hate it.

2:42pm: Rob Roy
Current obsession: Rob Roy. It's an amazingly good movie, better than Braveheart. It is, however, rather bloody, and there's a tastefully done rape scene, so it's not for the faint of heart. There's this one character, Alasdair MacGregor, who is my new hero. He's awesome, even if he does get killed. Alan MacDonald was cool too. Come to think of it, he dies too. Damn, what is it with me and liking dead guys? Ah well. There's always fanfiction for bringing people back to life. Maybe I'll have Rhianon resurrect Alasdair to be her new boyfriend, since Garen's with Lily.

Once again, I lament the fact that I don't have a kilt, and make plans to go to Scotland to look for fabric.

1:41am: Black Friday
I'm at my grandparents' house. Cuz I'm cool. And they're cool for having a neighbor with an unsecured wireless network that I was able to tap into. Later I'm gonna see if I can set up a network here and their house so Gramma will be able to read my stories. I printed out A Dillar a Dollar for her, and she liked it a lot.

I don't see why they call it Black Friday. It's actually quite sunny today.

9:29am: Grrr...
Can't get on FFN for some odd reason. And Fictionpress is down. And I need to print something out from my document manager for my creative writing class. And some girl next to me is typing up the story about Midas and the golden touch. And Inverloch isn't updating till Sunday, which means I won't be able to read the update until Monday, because Frodo got confiscated because I slept in yesterday and missed first period. And I'm bored.

8:37pm: Mail
I just got a letter. Guess who it was from.

The US Airforce. They're promising to pay for my college education if I sign up to die for my country.

I'm just a little upset. Just a little.

Okay, I'm practically ready to kill whoever passed the Patriot Act. Apparently there's a little notation in there that says that any school system that recieves federal aid (in other words, all of them) is required to produce lists of names and addresses of students to the armed forces for recruitment purposes. How did this-- legal harrassment manage to become law? Because the people in charge of my country are morons.

I just realized something. I could get put in jail for what I just wrote. And you know something? I don't care.

11:14am: Blah
Lost my sketchbook yesterday. Found it today. I think I'm coming down with the sore throat/headache thing that's been flying around the school. It sucks.

2:36pm: Black Monday
Many of those who know me are aware of my fascination with Celts, particularly Scotland. Some of those many are aware that while I do not own a kilt, I have been trying to either purchase or make one for myself for the past three years. The biggest obstacle in this quest is that of money. I've looked online for the tartan that goes with my family name, and found it-- unfortunately, the lowest price I've found was 45 pounds a yard, which is about 90$ in US money, and I happen to need five yards. I do not have this kind of money lying around.

This brings me to the worst part of my day at the local public high school.

See, I'm taking a fashion construction class (no giggles, please), and it occured to me that perhaps the teacher would be able to help me get the fabric for my kilt. So, I stayed after class and asked her if she had any ideas. Imagine my sense of betrayal when she told me that I might as well give up. Okay, so her exact words were "Maybe you should try making something else", but the gist of the matter was about the same. This is a teacher we're talking about, not another student. Someone who is supposed to be helping me.

Oh, and remember that bee sting I told you about? The one that's got my left hand all swollen? Well, normally when something like what happened with the sewing teacher happens, I'll go out in the hall, punch a locker and feel much better, but at the moment, I can't even make a fist with the hand I usually punch with. So I jumped around a bit in front of the attendance office and babbled to Mrs. Schmidt about my troubles du jour. She wasn't terribly helpful, since she kept insisting that I needed to go out to the bus and that I should hurry up or my mum would have to come pick me up (yeah, seniors are allowed to drive, but like an idiot, I still haven't gotten my stupid liscense yet). Anyway, I ran out to the bus, nearly ran right past mine, then ducked between it and the one in front of it to get on. Once I was on, the assistant principle, may he boil in hell, comes on the bus and starts telling me off for going between the buses. I have been ducking between busses for three years now. Why in the name of apples did he choose today to yell at me about it? I confess, I sort of blew up at him, told him to leave me the hell alone, just for once. I think I scared him, cuz he got off the bus and hurried away.

On the bus, I related the story of my day to my friend, and she agreed that the fashion construction teacher had been stupid to tell me that I had just wasted three years of my life, and complained that one of the gym teachers had threatened to fail her for being disrespectful. I'm sorry, but Kelly is one of the quietest, most polite and respectful people I know. So we spent most of the bus ride kvetching about the stupidity of authority.

I didn't miss my stop, amazingly enough, but I was so pissed off that I chucked my empty tea mug from this morning at the ground and broke it. Then, as I was walking home from the bus stop, I noticed that there was something wet seeping through the bottom of my bag. Investigating, I discovered the yogurt that my mum had insisted that I bring for a snack had opened up and spilled all over my books. There was no one around to hear me curse, which I think is just as well. I ended up having to chuck my copy of the school literary journal from last year, which I hadn't gotten to read yet, and I'm going to have to buy another copy.

Oh, and Mum forgot to bring the benadryl.

Basically, today's one redeeming quality was the creation of my first epic poem, which took place during my free period.

9:13am: Bee stings
Got stung on my ring finger of my left hand on Saturday. It is now very swollen and itchy. Got stung on right forearm on Sunday while eating lunch. Also very swollen and itchy. The nurse has absolutely nothing of any use, so Mum's bringing me some Benadryl.

Oh yeah. School started the week before last. The year looks promising.

9:43pm: Faerys
They're after me. I can frikkin' feel it. Everywhere, outside. Thank all the gods they can't come inside. It's cuz I've got Truesight, and I can see them. The Unseelie Court doesn't like humans with Truesight, cuz we almost always become allied with the Seelie Court. I'd thought they hadn't noticed me, but I guess I was wrong.

I'm confusing you all, aren't I?

Okay, run down.

There are two groups of Faerys, the Unseelie Court, and the Seelie Court, each headed by a queen. The Seelie Court are led by Her High Majesty, the High Queen of all Faery. She's one of the Sidhe. The Seelie Court tends to be benevolent towards humans, when they aren't ignoring them. Sure, they play tricks, but for the most part they aren't cruel or dangerous or anything. The Unseelie Court is led by the Queen of Air and Darkness, and they are most definitely not benevolent, particularly towards those who side with the Seelie Court. They like darkness, and are most active at the new moon, since that's when it's darkest. They seem to be ignoring the fact that the moon is almost full, though, which I'm not very happy about. They say that the Queen of Air and Darkness was once one of the Sidhe who turned traitor. I wouldn't be surprised.

Dunno if I've mentioned that I can see Faerys. Always have. They follow me around sometimes, and I find four leaf clovers all over the place, little reminders from them that they're there and they know who I am. I don't mind for the most part, since I know that they're not trying to hurt me. Annoy me, yes, but hurt me, I doubt it. There was the time when a bunch of faery lights (small, not very intellegent Seelie Court faerys that are mostly used for carrying messages) followed me to the bathroom one day. And another time I saw a pixie take a nosedive off the pencil sharpener at school, then disappear. No one else saw it, of course. That's the thing about Truesight, you either have it or you don't, and most people don't. It's both a blessing and a curse, like having good hearing, or a good nose.

But anyway, I had to go down the hill to do something this evening, and I saw something glowing. It didn't feel friendly if you know what I mean, and I've been all jumpy ever since. They're definitely out there, I can feel it. Same thing last night, too. There was just this feeling in the air of some sort of malevolent presence, and I could see stuff moving in the shadows where stuff shouldn't have been. My mum thinks I'm being paranoid, and maybe I am. I know what I saw though, and I know that there's something out there that's not friendly. No way I'm going out after dark until this is over and done with.

That, and I've got Wake Me Up When September Ends by Green Day stuck in my head.

10:26pm: Stuff
Here's the rundown since my last entry, in chronological order:

I left private school and went back to the local public school.
I made an enemy by referring to one of the girls in my art class as a raccoon. My specific words were "You bear a strong resemblance to a raccoon," but she took offense anyway. Then later, she said something about guppies, and I, acting purely on instinct, said "Your butt's a guppy." She retaliated by putting oil paint all down my back. I have no idea how she did it without me noticing. It was my Zeldafreak t-shirt, too.
School ends.
I try out for a show in the area, a production of Narnia, based on "The Lion, the Witch, and the Wardrobe". I get the part of Tumnus the faun.

That is all. I gotta go take my pills and go to bed now.

1:20pm: English Paper
it's not that i don't want to work on the stupid paper. i don't know what i'm doing. i don't even have a topic. da doesn't know what's going on with it, he doesn't know that i don't have a topic. wait, i do have a topic. mom gave me one, but i can't remember what it is, and the piece of paper that it's written on has disappeared, along with the articles that i'm supposed to have highlighted. i don't have them highlighted because until not too long ago i didn't know what i was supposed to be highlighting. and i've got paddy's lamentation stuck in my head and it's depressing, and i wanna go online and see about getting myself re-enactment gear. da's going mushroom hunting later. i wanna go with him, but he says if i don't work on my paper, i can't go. he doesn't say what i'm supposed to do on the stupid thing, and i have no idea where to start. and my tea's too hot to drink. it's cooled now, but i just discovered that the moron forgot to put sugar in it.

9:52pm: Theorizing
I have two theories.

The first involves my dog, Bobka. This evening I took her out for a walk and let her off the leash to run around for a bit. Her speed and wildness has me convinced that she is no mortal dog. Some sort of shape shifting ATB (Ancient Trickster Being) perhaps, or something else. I’ve no doubt that she means well, but it is a bit disconcerting to know that you have an otherworldly creature chewing on your socks.

The second theory involves my theory on the universe. My theory is as follows: There is not one, but several million universes, mostly similar in terms of laws of physics and that sort of thing, all interconnected by a series of portals. I’ll get into the portals later, but the main theme is that everything that you read in books or see in movies or hear from a friend next door is true, but not necessarily in this universe. So in a way, books and stories are portals. I refer to this set of universes as the “mirror universes” for each is partly a reflection of the others. The actual physical portals are mere shimmers in space, weak points in the walls that separate the universes, although throughout history they have been constructed to exact specifications and meticulously controlled. There are two types of portals: constructed portals, the ones that are built by sentient beings for a purpose, and rogue portals, which appear randomly and can lead anywhere, in any universe, in any time. Time in this system is relative, so for a portal it works similar to the way space works. The different universes do not exist in the same “set” of space, and it is impossible to get from one to the other by any way other than a portal, and even that is difficult. It is easier to get from mirror universe to one of the otherworldly realms than from one mirror universe to another directly. The otherworldly realms are those in which the normal laws of physics do not apply in any way, shape, or form. They include Heaven, Hell, Faeryland, and the Spirit Realms, where one finds those creatures neither angel, demon, nor faery, including Pantheonic deities (deities who belong to a Pantheon, and therefore are more like their followers than deities which claim to be the only true God), and ATBs. ATBs, or ancient trickster beings, are usually lesser deities or beings which are immortal to a certain extent and enjoy playing practical jokes. They differ from faerys in that they have no definite lifespan—that is, they are neither born, nor do they grow old, whereas faerys have two parents and mature emotionally if not physically. ATBs stay exactly the same unless something truly ground shaking occurs, and usually go back to the way they were shortly after. Once in a while, one may observe a faery who matures into an ATB, but this is very rare.

There. I have done my theorizing for the week.

1:15pm: Fights and... Stuff *nods*
Oh yeah, I rock. I got in a fight with the floor today, and the floor won. See, I was trying to do a handstand, and it came out really good until I lost my balance and fell flat on my face. Now I've got a black eye and my nose is all red and puffy, and it hurts when I laugh. It hurts anyway, but especially when I laugh. People keep asking me if I got in a fight.

I've been working on my site. I put some new stories up and I'm making these little chibi gifs. I made one of my friend Jen and she thinks I'm weird, but that's okay because she thought I was weird anyway. I put up lots of random posters and drapery and greenery in my room. There's a big piece of green fabric stapled to the wall and the ceiling in the corner over my desk and there's posters and fake vines around my bed. My roommate put up frogs. They aren't actual frogs, just cut-outs from magazines and stuff. My roommate likes frogs.

I have a wireless card, so now all I have to do is leave Frodo with the scary computer people and then I'll be able to go online without having to run to the library. Yay.

10:18am: Welcome Back
Sorry 'bout disappearing for so long. School started and they're having trouble with the wireless network, so Frodo (my laptop) is useless for anything other than Adobe and wordprocessing. My schedule is screwed up so I'm getting it changed, and I'm on the cross country team. I am in desperate need of advil as a result of said team. I've got some more pictures to put on the website-- they'll probably go up sometime in the next week if the wireless situation gets straightened out. I can't make any promises though.

10:28pm: Circles of Thought
My friend is trying to get a divorce from her abusive husband, and it's not going well. He's trying to frame her for just about everything they have a name for, and he's harrassing her as well. I lent her the necklace I made for her court appearance today, hoping it would bring some luck, but it didn't work. I just wish there was something I could do other than provide hugs.

We've got new people coming to stay with us on Saturday, one from Czech Republic and one from Scotland. I won't get to meet them until next weekend because I start school tomorrow.

8:19am: I have a paper cut on my left pinkie finger, and I have no idea how it got there.

1:04pm: Rainy Morning
Well, it looks like I was right about Piro and Kimiko. If you look at today's strip, it's pretty obvious that they're gonna end up together.

As for Garen, I seem to have grown an inch and a half overnight. Silly doctor, saying I was done growing. I will be taller yet! *evil cackle*

8:49pm: Kenshin and Babysitting
We have visitors, and one of them is a three-year-old girl who speaks mostly Polish. She's really cute, and she seems to have grown very attached to me over the past two days. I was looking after her today so her mom could do something else, and she decided that she wanted to go on the trampoline. I was forced to pretend to be a daddy leopard, a monster, a snake, a monkey, a T-rex (she called it "Shateef", and I had to ask her mom to translate), and a horsie. Something about playing horsie with her reminded me of Ruroni Kenshin, how Kenshin's so nice and easy-going about pretty much everything. I had a crazy mental image of Kenshin giving piggy-back rides the whole time I was watching her, and I think my next fanfic is going to be about a kid showing up at Kaoru's dojo.

But first I have to finish Ranmayana and my story about Mameha from Memoirs of a Geisha

11:19am: Conspiracy of Math
I have half a million things I need to get done, and she has me reviewing math problems. Half of the things I need to do aren't even for me, they're for other people, some are for the farm. I need to work on t-shirts, the one for des' birthday, the ZeldaFreak one i've been meaning to make for the last three years, the new one for the farm. I'm going out of my way to try and get them done, but she keeps piling on more stuff for me to do, most of it useless. It's summer vacation for crying out loud. I know I'm not going to get time off from working and projects, but you'd think I'd get a break from school work. I was hoping that without the school work gumming up my schedule I'd have more time to work on my many projects, but no. Grampa's birthday was weeks ago, and I still haven't finished his present. Not for lack of trying mind you, but it's almost like some kind of conspiracy to keep me from getting anything done. My cell phone is almost out of batteries, I haven't gotten a good night's sleep in weeks, and my stomach is in a right funk from all the abuse it's been getting. And she has me doing math problems. I wanna go back to bed.